Character profile - Bart Simpson

Well I figured it was time to actually profile a Simpson, so lets start with the show's original star. In the beginning Bart was the star of the show, in the early 90's his face was everywhere, he even had some crappy music video "Do the Bartman". As the series progressed Bart has been placed in the role of sidekick to Homer, often Homer's right hand man in his crazy schemes. Somehow through multiple stranglings Homer and Bart seem to maintain a good relationship, they have many similar interests, and are both rather dumb. Bart like Homer is on the funnier half of the Simpsons family, episodes starring Bart or Homer are usually much better then those starring Lisa and Marge, Grandpa episodes are also usually quite good, and Maggie episodes don't really exist. Bart is the class clown, and is one of the most popular kids in school, he even is ignored by bullys most of the time. He does show a extreme street smarts from time to time, this may be because the Simpsons dumbening gene hasn't taken full effect yet. He is often shown running shady operations to get money from his classmates, something he may have learned from his father. On one occasion Bart tried to be a good student and was told by Mrs. Edna Krabappel to stop raising his hand, because he hasn't got a single question right all day. Bart's best friend is Milhouse, who does whatever Bart says, through the course of the show Bart has had numerous other friends, that appear as the show needs, orginally Lewis and Richard were always there, now they have faded into obscurity, Martin makes a few appearances, but it is usually when Bart is using him. Nelson is Bart's most common friend after Milhouse, even though Nelson will bully Bart from time to time. Even Principal Skinner and Bart became close after Skinner was fired. Bart has played many pranks big and small, including cutting the head off the Jebidiah Springfield Statue, convincing the whole town a young boy fell down a well, and of course the many prank calls to Moe. Bart even spent a short time in Juvie for breaking into a cop car, something I believe he has done more then once. Despite Bart being an underachieving punk, who isn't the brightest, he has managed to stop criminal mastermind Sideshow Bob on numerous occasions, avoiding death several times. Bart has also shown a natural abilty for Ballet, and despite being only 10 has been drunk at least twice, he was the owner of his own factory, has appeared on Conan O'Brien, wrote episodes of Itchy and Scratchy, and driven cross country to Memphis. Overall Bart is no Homer, but he is pretty funny, he may be Homer's sidekick, but he has his own more obdient sidekick in Milhouse, and he one day may become a Supreme Court Justice, or a sleazy male strippy, or maybe even both like the late Earl Warren.

Must see episodes with Bart: "Seperate Vocations" "Bart the Daredevil" "Cape Feare" "Bart's Girlfriend" "Bart Vs. Australia" and more

Best Quote: "Oh my God! The dead have risen and are voting Republican" From "Sideshow Bob Roberts"

Character profile - Nelson Muntz

Nelson has been a fairly prominent character in "The Simpsons" since season 1. He has one of the most recognizable catch phrases in the show, and he is arguably one of the better developed characters. Originally developed as a main antagonist for Bart, this bully was introduced in the episode "Bart the Genral" where Bart organizes his classmates and declares war on Nelson. Nelson has since been shown as one of Bart's best friends... sometimes, other times he reverts to bullying Bart, but he usually is seen picking on Milhouse or Martin. He is also frequently seen with Dolph, Kearny and Jimbo. Nelson has a very troubled family life, his father is usually not present, but occasionally is there, and his mother is a sleazy usually unemployed woman who is so low, she is willing to date Moe. Lisa's first kiss was in Nelson, when she was trying to change him unsuccesfully. His trademark "Ha Ha" has been around for awhile, and in the newer seasons is being overused. On one memorable occasion Nelson, laughs at the wrong man who forces Nelson to march down the streets of Springfield with his pants down, while blowing kisses and waving at the citizens. While Springfield Elementary has school uniforms he forgets how his laugh goes, when trying to laugh at Bart he responds "Ha... Ho?" Like Bart Nelson isn't the brightest crayon in the box, as Bart mentions they are in all the same remedial classes, he also thinks your epidermis is your hair. In the end Nelson is a lonely child seeking adult aprooval and a real friendship, he longs to be reunited with his father, and pretends his mother is a good one. While only featured as a main character in a few episodes he has a role in several, usually involving Bart, but sometimes with another member of the Simpsons family.

Must See Episodes with Nelson: "Lisa's Date With Density", "Bart the General", "The Haw-Hawed Couple"

Best Quote: ""You wrecked Hitler's car. What'd he ever do to YOU?" From "Bart Carny"

Episode Review - "Homer's Phobia" Episode #168 8th Season Episode 15 4f11

"Homer's Phobia" starts with Bart breaking the family dryer during a lottery drawing he has set up for some classmates. From there the family owes $900 dollars to the gas man, after Homer drops the retirement fund, and it proceeds to sink deep into the earth (the retirement fund is all pennies in a water cooler jug), Homer calls into the hole for China to help but his pleas are left unheard. Marge makes the decision that they will have to pawn her Grandmother's priceless Civil War figurine. They go to "Cockamamie's" in the mall to sell the heirloom, only to find out that it is not a rare figurine at all, but in fact a whiskey bottle. Homer proceeds to chat with the store's owner John (excellently voiced by John Waters), who Homer invites back to the house to see all the valuable worthless junk they have. Homer decides John is a great guy and wants to have him and his wife over for drinks sometime, only to have Marge tell him that John is a homosexual, Homer's reaction is nothing more then a terrified scream. As the episode goes on the rest of the family continues to hangout with John, theis worries Homer as he starts to fear Bart may be gay. He tries to fix bart by making him stare at a cigarette billboard with woman pillowfighting for two hours, taking him on an ill-fated trip to a steel mill, and lastly take Bart hunting. By the end of the episode John has saved Homer's life and Homer becomes slightly more tolerent of him. This episode has some great moments, the trip to the gay steel mill is one of my all time favorite gags, "stand still theres a spark in your hair" "hot stuff coming threw" "we work hard we play hard". Also on the hunting trip when Homer is getting pummeled by reindeer, Bart asks if Homer is hurt, and Homer replies "just my bones... and organs". There is an amusing moment that incenuaites that John and Smithers are an item. Moe and Barney were also saved by John at the episodes end, and Moe when asking if everything is ok says "I'll do anything you want... anything!" Overall this is a very funny episode, with a great guest performance, and I highly reccommend it to anyone!

9 out of 10

Best quote "Homer, I won your respect, and all I had to do was save your life. Now, if every gay man could just do the same, you'd be set. " John

Episode Review - "Thats 90'2 Show" Episode #411 19th Season Episode 11 KABF04

"That 90's Show" is an episode every true Simpsons fan should hate. It completly changes Marge and Homer's well established storyline, and does not fit into the already loose Simpsons canon. In this episode Homer and Marge tell the story of what happened to them after highschool, where Marge goes to college in the 90's, and Homer is a member of an R&B group, that later becomes the pioneers of grunge. While in school Marge falls for one of her professors, who is a poltically correct jackass. The episode is filled with so many pop culture refrences it almost feels more like an episode of "Family Guy", however some of these refrences are amusing, such as Marvin Cobain calling his cousin Kurt a'la "Back to the Future". Another annoying bit about this episode is the timing of some of the refrences, Kurt Cobain had already died by the time of the Soup Nazi episode of "Seinfeld", there are plenty more of these errors in this episode but I willl try to refrain from geeking out to much. Also this is the second succesful band Homer has been a part of with nothing to show for it, I guess you could argue these are the reasons Homer randomly has dispoable income, and doesn't really have to work, but he would probably get recognized on the street at this time. All in all "That 90's Show" is a perfect example of "The Simpsons" jumping the shark a long time ago.

3.5 out of 10

Best Quote: "He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life" Homer

Character profile - Mr. Black

Some of you may be wondering who the hell is Mr. Black, well the answer is found in the Season 4 Premiere "Kamp Krusty". Mr. Black is the head councilor at the Kamp where he employs Dolph, Kearny, and Jimbo to be his councilors/enforcers. Prevously he was the head of Euro Krustyland before it blew up. He unwittingly hires Barney to portray Krusty at the camp, who he is unware has a relationship with the Simpsons, and therefore recognizes Bart, also he thinks he is Krunchy the Clown. Mr. Black enjoys smoking and drinking Brandy with his employees while toastin evil. When the kids revolt he attempts to make his escape in his trusty hydrofoil... his fait is never revealed. He never returns in any future episodes to date.

Best Quote - "Gentleman to evil"

Character profile - Moe Szyslak

Moe is the owner of Moe's Tavern the local bar in Springfield. He is also one of Homer's closest friends. Moe is for lack of a better word a scumbag with a heart of gold. He always has some sort of shady activity he is running inside his bar, such as Russian roulette, keeping panda bears and killer whales in the back, and even hiding Hans Moleman under the floor boards. Moe is also on several occasions seen trying to move in on Marge when Homer and her marriage is on the rocks. We sometimes do get a glimpse of the real Moe, behind that ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly, and ugly ugly exterior ther lies a gentle soul. Reading to the homeless and children at the orphanage, spreading aide to needy countries after stealing the Fan Man's fan, befriending Maggie when she shows him love, and being a loving owner of Mr. Kittywikkums. We see that all Moe really wants is companionship, he is lonely and only on a few occasions has a women been able to look past Moe's harsh face. When Moe does find a women he tends to screw it up in someway, including a crazy scheme involving corpses. Moe on several occasions has come very close to betraying his good friend Homer, like when he steal Homer's recipe for a flaming homer. In the end he always makes things right. Back in the day of classic Simpsons episode he was often the victim of Bart's prank phone calls, with such classics as Hugh Jass, Amanda Hugnkiss, Homer Sexual, and Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.

Must see episodes starring Moe - "Flaming Moe's" "The Homer they Fall" ""Dumbbell Indemnity"

Best Quote " I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff." From "Team Homer"

Episode Review - "Lisa's Rival" Episode # 105 6th season Ep. 2 1f17

This episode focuses on a new girl in Lisa's class (something that has been done at least 2 more times since this episode). Allison who skips the 1st grade, is just slightly better then Lisa at everything, including saxophone. Lisa feels like she should befriend Allison, but can't help but being jealous of her, going so far to sabotage Allison during the Diorama-rama. Lisa's story in this episode is ok, it provides a few very funny moments, such as "Jeremy's... iron" and Ralph's classic lines of "My cat's breath smells like cat food" and "I bent my wookie". However the best parts of this episode belong to Homer in the sub-plot. Homer discovers a turned over sugar truck,and in his mind hits the jackpot, he cooks dinner for the family with this bounty he has discoverd, claiming the broken glass and nails in it are actually prizes. Homer grows paranoid and sleeps outside next to his sugar pile with a bat, only to have his suspicions confirmed when a british man is caught having stolen some sugar for his tea, and he would do it again. My personal favorite bit in this episode involves Milhouse however, as we discover Bart gets his friend put on the FBI's most wanted list, and we see the fed's chase Milhouse from the Monkey Bars, and eventually in a great "The Fugitive" parody see Milhouse jump from a waterfall to escape a Tommy Lee Johns-esque pursuer.

Rating 8 out of 10

Best Quote: "Bad bees. Get away from my sugar. Ow. OW. Oh, they're defending themselves somehow" Homer

Hi

Welcome to my "Simpsons" blog. I plan to review episodes, and have general musings about "The Simpsons" even going into the new seasons, where the quality has obviously fallen off a bit.